Some findings from Covenant School shooter Audrey Hale's diary
The Tennessee Star has released all 90 pages of the "manifesto" of Audrey Hale, the trans-identified shooter who killed six people at Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee last year.
The journal had remained under seal from the Metro Nashville Police Department after the FBI sent the local law enforcement agency a memo stating that it "strongly discourages" the release of so-called "legacy tokens" because of concerns that future mass shooters would "immerse themselves in and study these materials for inspiration and tactics." Critics of the move to keep the document confidential theorized that there was an effort to hide that trans ideology either motivated or played a partial role in the attack.
Over the past year, The Tennessee Star and conservative podcaster Steven Crowder have released excerpts of Hale's diary that revealed a disturbed young woman who fantasized about her "imaginary penis," resented her parents and Christianity for their refusal to embrace her self-professed gender identity as male, and detailing her intention to open fire at the Christian school.
Tuesday's publication of the complete manifesto contains unredacted screenshots of the handwritten journal for all to see. The contents of the diary document admiration for other mass murderers, sexual frustration, Hale's desire to kill herself and others, in addition to providing context for her gender dysphoria.
Here are five findings from the unredacted version of Audrey Hale's diary.
1. Hale thought she'd become a boy when she died
While the diary contained multiple instances of Hale wishing death upon herself, an entry from February 2023, one month before the mass shooting, features the trans-identified shooter remarking that, "The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body behind and the boy in me will be free in a butterfly transformation; the real me."
Hale then suggested that "If God won't give me a boy body in heaven, then Jesus is a f----t."
2. Wanted to make Columbine shooters proud
On an undated and mostly blank page toward the end of the diary, presumably written a week or two before the shooting, Hale declared, "I want my massacre to end in a way that Eric and Dylan will be proud of." While Hale didn't elaborate on what she meant, she was referring to the perpetrators of the mass shooting at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in 1999.
Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12 students and one teacher in the mass shooting. Another portion of the diary, on another mostly blank page presumably from March 2023, illustrates how the Columbine shooting weighed heavily on Hale's mind. She identified April 1999 as "the year Columbine" was "born" and wrote out the date 4/20/99, referring to the day the mass shooting occurred.
3. Wished death upon her father
While the previously released excerpts of the diary document Hale's resentment toward her parents, a newly released entry titled "Dad Problems" indicates that she had a desire to kill her father. On the undated page, Hale wrote, "I hate when my dad loves on the cats; not me" and referred to her father as a "f----t."
"He never once loved on me for years, maybe like ever (as a child; maybe)," she added. "I hate his old cranky-man existence. All cranky good-for-nothing mentally ill men SHOULD DIE. They're all useless pieces of s---.
Describing her father as a "waste of life, waste of time" and a "waste of human population," she lamented, "Dad just takes up space for all I know." She slammed him as a "dried out & hollow" person who "says negative s--- all the time, like 'he's a loser'" or "I hate movies like this."
"WELL GUESS WHAT? [YOU'RE] A LOSER!" she exclaimed. After telling her father "I HATE YOU" and "I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIE," Hale insisted, "I WANT TO KILL YOU."
In a previous diary entry from Jan. 19, 2023, Hale lamented that "Sydney is gone but my f---ing dad is still alive," adding, "It should be the other way around."
She also called her father "delusional," responding to his assertion that "it gets better & better" by proclaiming, "OLD MAN, YOU'RE FULL OF S---." A March 2023 entry has an "X" drawn through the face of a man presumed to be Hale's father, accompanied by the caption "A day w/o a father will be a better day."
4. Sexually attracted to females
The complete diary makes clear that Hale's desire to become a boy stems, in part, from her desire to have romantic relationships with girls. A graphic entry from Jan. 25, 2023, features an illustration of a sex act accompanied by an explicit sexual fantasy. Hale expressed a desire to sodomize a "beautiful young brown girl" and lamented that because she was a girl, she could not do so.
In a Feb. 6, 2023, entry, Hale expressed disappointment that "I will be of no use of love for any girl if I don't have what they need," referring to a boy's "body" and the "male gender." In another entry, which appeared to be written on Feb. 9, 2023, Hale characterized herself as a "major blow to girls" because "I am a boy that has no penis."
5. Diary concludes with Hale using her birth name
While the diary features multiple instances of Hale referring to herself as "Aiden," a boy's name that reflects her self-declared gender identity and is based on the contention that she was born in the wrong body, the diary concludes with a message reading, "Remember me for the good things." She signed the last sentence in her diary using her given name "Audrey," accompanied by a heart.
Earlier in the diary, Hale wrote a love letter to someone else, reading, "Audrey is not my name but when you say it, I am just the little 1 I was back then." The letter also insisted that "I can be a kid again with you, alongside you, even if I can't be w/ you" and concluded with Hale signing her name "Aiden" with "Audrey" in parentheses.
Photo credit Audrey Hale Youtube